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I have a new Studied column in this Sunday’s Styles section of the New York Times about relationship woes and men. A new study suggests that young men suffer more when relationships are going poorly. Meanwhile, women care more about whether they’re in a relationship or not, no matter the quality of the bond. What do you think? Make sense? I’d love to hear peoples’ hypotheses as to why this may or may not be true. Helen Fisher weighs in, as well.
Yesterday I wrote about a new study highlighting potential problems for people who move a lot during childhood. The study raised a lot of interesting questions, some of which it answered statistically, some hypothetically. Does moving during childhood negatively affect people? Do the affects last past childhood, shaping who we are as adults? Do the reasons for the move matter? Are children whose parents from the military different from other kids in the way their experience dislocation? I found that the comments posed on The New York Times website, where people really opened up and shared their own experiences, really enriched the story. I was also very excited to see that the story hit the top 25 most emailed stories for the entire NYT website. And I am grateful to Lisa Belkin for pointing readers to the story on her Motherlode blog.
Lisa Belkin over at the Motherlode blogs about the July/August issue of The Atlantic in her most recent post, calling out my piece as well as Hannah Rosin’s on the state of men and parenthood. Belkin pretty much presents the facts in both stories and weighs in at the end. Many of the comments posted are also worthwhile.
I wrote a brief piece in the current issue of The Atlantic with the rather provocative title, Are Fathers Necessary? that to me, at least, offered a rather prosaic conclusion: Yes, most of us consider fathers to be necessary and value them as such, but the existing research does not bear out any benefits exclusive to biological fathers. The piece also substantiated the benefits of lesbian mothers, something I explored in an earlier piece on a lesbian foster couple in The New York Times Magazine.
Predictably, and unfortunately, there was a lot of misreading (or nonreading?) of the article, reflected in many of the comments, which were too often ad hominem and erroneous (both in describing the studies I cited and in characterizing the article I wrote). But today a bright light shines at The Economist, where a post reports, accurately and fairly, on both the study and its conclusions. It’s a bit late to celebrate Father’s Day proper here, but I’m always glad to see stories that fairly represent the benefits of both fathers and lesbian mothers.
I realize it’s been an absurdly long time since I’ve posted, so I’m going to offer some explanation and try to at least begin to get caught up. The short explanation is: Three kids! I had a baby last year and between him and my other two children, I am still calibrating what full-time employment looks like. Mostly, so far, it means constantly catching up and still feeling behind. But it’s all worth it.
I’ll point to some of what I’ve been up to in the recent weeks — err, months — over the next few days (or weeks, depending). My latest is the most recent column I wrote for The New York Times Styles section. The basic idea behind the column is to highlight and briefly analyze the methodology and conclusions of a new social science study (or two or three) on topics related to everything from love to consumer behavior to marriage to social psychology, parenting, demography, and family life. My most recent column, which ran on Sunday, examines a new paper on empathy in college students.
The piece includes a link to a survey where you can check out how you fare on empathy in comparison to the surveyed students. So far, this has been my most read column in the Styles section, as far as I can tell. At least, it’s on top of the Most Emailed list, which is very exciting. Would love to hear what you think.
I had a fantastic time doing the Brian Lehrer show on our fabulous local NPR station, WNYC, and was thrilled to see that it’s been the most emailed show all week. You can listen to it here. Also, in this month’s issue of Cookie magazine, cover star and very smart mom Amanda Peet talks up Parenting, Inc. And I thought you were great in Syriana and The Whole Nine Yards!
I have a story in this week’s Time magazine about the ways in which parents are becoming environmentally active — not just buying green, but also acting green — in important ways. A longer blog on this to come, but the story is here.
I have a post up at the Huffington Post today, rather dramatically entitled, Raise the Price of Toys. My point, really, is that because toys have become so cheap, relatively speaking, we parents are inclined to buy more of them. This in turn, makes us value them less, but it also makes children value their toys less. The average American child gets 70 new toys a year. We are teaching our children to churn through their playthings, toss them aside, stomp on them… In short, not only are we teaching them that their toys and possessions are not something to be valued, we’re also inadvertently stunting their creativity. Think about it: If a child gets only 10 new toys a year, he or she will find lots of new ways to play with them. Especially if they are good, open-ended toys that allow for creative, imaginative play. Thus: the fewer toys, the more resourcefulness. And the fewer wasted resources.
Oh, and also: Remember puffy stickers? They tie into all this.
Several stories about Parenting, Inc. were published in the last two days, so I thought I’d provide some links. In the Fairfield County Weekly, former Huffington Post editor Jessica Wakeman interviews me here. A fun Q and A, except for a typo substituting “fridge” for “crib,” which makes for an amusing visual conundrum, given the context. In the Greenville News and also in the Lansing State-Journal, Mama-Rama blogger and author Meagan Francis gives her perspective on the parenting biz. Finally, in the New York Daily News, I am asked to comment on the Miley Cyrus “scandal.”
An early heads-up to my NYC-based readers: I will be speaking as part of a panel next week in Brooklyn’s Park Slope as part of the Adult Education series. Details are below. Hope to see you there!
ADULT EDUCATION PRESENTS: BABIES & AMERICAN INDUSTRY
Tuesday, May 6, 2008 - 8 pm (doors at 7:30)
Union Hall in Park Slope
702 Union St. @ 5th Ave
$5 cover
| Pamela Paul, “Baby Gear Your Mother Didn’t Have”
| Daniel Radosh,”Marketing to Christian Kids or The Secret
Identity of Bibleman”
| Charles Star, “A Short List of the Worst Children’s Toys Ever”
| Gary Drevitch, “How Princesses and Pokemon Conquered America”
| Susan Gregory Thomas, “Barbie Goes Vertical: How the Marketing
Industry Brands Infants and Toddlers”
DANIEL RADOSH is author of the new book Rapture Ready! Adventures in the
Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture. He is a frequent contributor
to The New Yorker and a contributing editor at The Week magazine. His
writing has appeared in dozens of publications, including The New York
Times, Playboy, Esquire, and GQ. In the early 1990s, Radosh was a staff
writer and editor at Spy magazine. (http://www.radosh.net)
PAMELA PAUL is the author of Parenting, Inc: How We Are Sold on $800
Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler
Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers — and What It Means for Our Children.
She writes for Time magazine and the New York Times Book Review, and is
the author of two previous books, Pornified and The Starter Marriage. She
and her family live in Harlem. (http://www.pamelapaul.com)
GARY DREVITCH produces the parenting Web site freelancedad.com,
contributes to magazines like Parents and Jewish Living, and writes
non-fiction books for children. He is also the senior editor of
grandparents.com. A father of three, he has become part of the Pokemon
problem, and now seeks its solution. (http://freelancedad.com)
SUSAN GREGORY THOMAS is an investigative journalist and broadcaster.
Formerly a senior editor at U.S. News & World Report and co-host of public
television’s Digital Duo, she has also written for Time, the Washington
Post, Glamour, and elsewhere. She has two children, seven and four years
old.
CHARLES STAR is a sometimes lawyer, sometimes comic, and host of Adult Ed.
But he is mostly known for his excellent cat. (http://www.charlesstar.com)
Speakers will be on hand afterward to answers questions and sign books.