Category Archives: HuffPo

Ever More Starter Marriages

It amazes me how often the subject of Starter Marriages comes up. I’ve thought about it a lot recently, coming on the 10th anniversary of writing the book. It was about this time 11 years ago that I began to circulate a book proposal on the subject, in the wake of my own Starter Marriage.

And just today, I got an email from a reader who added this interesting Millennial, social-networking twist: Apparently, Facebook peer pressure adds to the urge to marry young and big. As the reader wrote me in her note:

I am really happy that a friend of mine recommended your book Starter Marriage to me. Websites like Facebook add to that frenzy of engagements you described. Since I am 27, I guess I am caught in that frenzy – where if you are getting engaged you are a superstar with people lavishing your wall with attention and where if you are single, you feel barren, not part of a whole.

Prior to reading your book, I broke up with a boyfriend who I really thought was going to be “the one”. I walked away because I thought to myself after all the hoggle boggle of ceremonies is over, am I just happy buy phentermine online with this person sitting on the couch, enjoying the mundaneness of everyday life. We actually had some serious personality conflicts that could not be ironed out in the short run, let alone in a legally committed long run. So I walked away.

Fortunately, I realized this before I suffered some real consequences of moving in my stuff or having to move back in with my parents. But unfortunately, the universe hasn’t brought along anyone new and this slew of engagements on facebook is like a mirror, constantly patronizing my ego, where I can’t help but think ‘hey, i could of had that too.”

However, I refuse to let fear drive my decisions and I am really glad you wrote your book and I read it. It made me see that I did make the right decision. And the stories of the people you interviewed who went into a marriage thinking ‘what if i don’t find someone else better’ – that type of thinking – haunted me the same way for months before we broke up.

And in other Starter Marriage headlines, apparently there’s a story up on the new Divorce section of the Huffington Post called “Second Time’s the Charm: the Case for the Starter Marriage”

In Praise of Puffy Stickers

I have a post up at the Huffington Post today, rather dramatically entitled, Raise the Price of Toys. My point, really, is that because toys have become so cheap, relatively speaking, we parents are inclined to buy more of them. This in turn, makes us value them less, but it also makes children value their toys less. The average American child gets 70 new toys a year. We are teaching our children to churn through their playthings, toss them aside, stomp on them… In short, not only are we teaching them that their toys and possessions are not something to be valued, we’re also inadvertently stunting their creativity. Think about it: If a child gets only 10 new toys a year, he or she will find lots of new ways to play with them. Especially if they are good, open-ended toys that allow for creative, imaginative play. Thus: the fewer toys, the more resourcefulness. And the fewer wasted resources.

Oh, and also: Remember puffy stickers? They tie into all this.

Angry Mom

I’ve been meaning to write a story about “maternal profiling” for a few months now. Maternal profiling being the filthy practice of discriminating against pregnant women and new mothers (and even women who seem like they are going to get pregnant soon — employers reading wedding rings and incipient eye wrinkles like tea leaves…). Anyway, I posted about this on the Huffington Post this evening. So far, just a few comments. I’m a bit surprised I haven’t heard from more similarly indignant mothers, both new, old, and expectant. And dare I hope — dads? Would love to hear what you think, either here or there.

Computerized Diapers

I am blogging about my own blogs — late! This was actually posted at the Huffington Post on Monday night, but yesterday was a crazy day, made all the more difficult by exhaustion. My newly potty-trained daughter is so pleased with her accomplishments that she wakes up at midnight, 5:30am, etc. to show off her skills — even buy tadalafil online though she’s still in overnight diapers. So I guess you can’t blame me for having diapers on my mind. Anyway, I guess you can tell that I’m not a huge fan of technology for the wee ones. Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts. How much high-tech do you let into your infants’ lives?